• Talk out the situation with someone you trust.
• Make lists of the things you feel you have to get done, then cross off each job as you complete it.
• Try to figure out the sources of your stress. This can help you feel a little less 'helpless'.
• Get regular exercise. It helps reduce feelings of stress.
• Relax. Find a quiet place or do something you enjoy. (Pet an animal, listen to music)
• Remember your past successes. This can build strength and hope.
• Help someone else. It can be a reminder you are not helpless.
• Seek help from someone else when you can't handle a problem alone. Friends, siblings, parents, counsellors... someone WILL be there for you.

• Don’t take on any more responsibilities if you already have too many. You might even get rid of some of the responsibilities you already have.
• Don’t procrastinate… get as much done as you can without pressuring yourself Remember: 'The longest journey begins with but a single step'.
• Don’t take short-term 'escapes'. Don't self-medicate with drugs or alcohol and don't go on eating, dieting, or sleeping binges. This won't solve any problems but will rather postpone or make things worse.
• Don’t blame others for your problems....start taking responsibility for your own life, then you can also take credit for your successes.
• Don’t keep feeling bottled up. That kind of pressure can make you explode.
• Don’t let others pressure you (friends, parents, teachers, bosses, coaches). Listen to what they have to say, but set your own goals.
• Don’t let yourself become isolated... people DO need people.
• Don’t overwork yourself do all you can, but remember that tomorrow is another day

Remember, the world is not perfect and we don't have to be perfect either. Just try your best, care about other people and remember to let them care about you.

Brainstorm rules with other group members, write them down and make a copy for each person. Some examples are:

• confidentiality
• no judging other people
• no laughing at other people
• freedom to show emotion
• right to pass when you do not feel like sharing
• no put downs
• one person talking at a time
• freedom to leave the room if you need to
• check in before leaving the building

Divide a page in two or use front and back. Each persont lists their personal hopes and fears about participating in this support group. Keep lists anonymous (No names). Gather lists in a paper bag. Each person draw from the bag and read out the hopes and fears listed. Some examples are:

• I can understand what I am going through and how to approach this.
• I can control my anger, or understand my anger.
• I hope to overcome my fathers death, to deal with my grieving, to achieve higher self esteem and feel better about myself.
• To learn strategies to deal with my emotion, fears and pain.
• To gain emotional power, to gain confidence, to realize I am worth it.
• To listen to everyone else's problems and realize I am not alone.
• To talk about my problems to people I can trust.
• To work out my feelings, to control my temper, to help end the nightmare

• Bring back memories and nightmares, I may get more depressed, more angry.
• Someone not being trustworthy, afraid of being put down.
• Never to be completely happy again.
• Never feel comfortable about myself around people.
• I may lose the friends I have because of what they are doing (drugs)

Let yourself feel bad. For each person who's grieving the loss of someone they loved, healing takes time. Number one priority is to let yourself feel the feelings that you have. Denying them or talking yourself out of them cheats you of a process you need to go through. 

Say the person's name. Bury only the body hold on to the memory. Name your feelings. Saying "I feel angry" or "I feel sad" or "I feel guilty" will help you know what you're feeling and work through your thoughts.

Keep a journal of random thoughts, write poems: they give you something for yourself and to share later if you want to. 

Some people find heavy metal groups good because they help feel anger. Others find comfort in songs by John Denver, Bruce Cockburn, Bob Dylan, the Beatles, etc.

In the bereavement section of your bookstore or library there's a lot of help.

Talk to friends, to people you like, to people who make you feel good. Talk to adults about how they deal with death. It's reassuring to find there are different answers, and in each there is some truth for you. Take it and build your belief system 

Get it out. Get angry. Express yourself. Get it over with. Do it as it happens. It will change you.